All Posts by Sharon

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Managing Anxiety When You Have to Say No

Sometimes saying no can be our biggest challenge - how do you manage anxiety?

An anxious woman

Photo by Gary Ross from Pixabay

We all get anxious at times, specially when we feel uncomfortable, out of our depth or uncertain of our ability to deal with a particular challenge, but when it becomes so huge that it causes a complete meltdown, it’s usually too late to do much about it other than survive the consequences that affect both your physical and mental health. Managing anxiety when you have to say no is not so much about finding a way to stop anxiety but rather a way of being prepared to face the inevitable discomfort that saying no can cause.

Conflict aversion

Do you really have trouble saying no or even telling someone the truth when you know that it will cause a defensive reaction?

Avoidance, escape, procrastination, ignoring the situation, and down playing your own feelings and ability are just some of the ways to get out of having to deal with conflict, but why do we fear it so much?

Let’s imagine you have a boss who asks you to work an hour later everyday. You agreed and were fine about that, but after three weeks of the same, you’re tired of getting home too late - you never have time to go to the gym. But she scares you and the organization's culture is somewhat competitive. How do you communicate this to her - would managing your anxiety in this scenario seem impossible?

As this is a work example I will add another to make it more general. You have a neighbour who you have a great relationship with but she has asked you to look after her dog while she’s on holiday.You’re not unkind, you normally love to help out, but this is the third time that you’ve looked after her dog. It’s a dog that's rather hard to control and he pulls, is rather aggressive with other dogs and you just don’t feel a bond with him that would otherwise make this a pleasure rather than a chore. 

How can you manage anxiety when you have to say no?

An opportunity for growth

These two typical examples may be different to your experience, no doubt you can relate and  sense the level of anxiety that would ensue. You may have already created a perfect escape plan with a whole backstory in your head that will mean maintaining your favour with the person. But at what cost?  

Every example such as those above make wonderful opportunities to grow as a person and to end the dark reign that anxiety imposes on your life once and for all.

Once you stand up to the dragon of anxiety, you will get a little braver each time and soon people will respect that imposing, controlling, manipulative or bullying behaviour just won’t work with you. Your relationships with others will improve.

Taking action is your choice

If this sounds like another ideal to add to the archived list that already awaits your attention, you’re not alone and that’s absolutely normal. It’s unrealistic to believe that you can suddenly start saying no assertively without feeling guilt, uncertainty, self-doubt or even panic. You identify yourself with someone who is willing to say yes, a positive, helpful and kind person and saying no feels pretty alien. So the first step is to appreciate your willingness to say yes. You are a positive person with a kind heart who will often go the extra mile. The next step is to let go of the attachment to being that kind of person. Accept yourself for a person who can say no too.

Saying yes when you feel like saying no is inauthentic, anti-evolutionary and it’s giving away your power but worse, it makes you feel bad about yourself and that keeps the game alive.

By being courageous and expressing yourself as an equal, you claim yourself and this is an empowering choice that begins with you, and, like all change you wish to see in your life, if you don’t take the steps to do it, it just ain’t gonna happen.

Tenderly Is How

Managing anxiety when you have to say no is easier when you add the tender touch. Any action you take, make it tender towards yourself.

Anxiety protects you, it makes you cautious and that can save your life, but it becomes dangerous to your health if it’s something that occurs often and results in a constant state of stress. There are a plethora of negative consequences of stress that affect your mental and physical well-being, so tenderness is the first step towards a more self-loving approach that will offset or balance this.

Here are some ways to manage anxiety when you have to say no:

  • Increasing your self-awareness through meditation is a great strategy to reconnect to a space within you that feels more harmonious and able to deal with the challenges that life presents.  The more you connect to that space the more trust you will have in your ability to manage anxiety. There are so many distractions in life and so much to take care of that mental energy is often a lot louder and more imposing than it should be. Harmony is a vital foundation of managing anxiety. 
  • Colour code your emotional state. Once you’ve become a little more self-aware of how your body communicates, you can begin to identify your emotional states by colour coding them. For example:

    BLUE - no anxiety at all (total relaxation) 

    GREEN -  slight agitation

    YELLOW - mental overload or mind gremlins sabotaging your self-esteem

    ORANGE - feeling really anxious along with the tell tale physical symptoms such as butterflies, nausea, sweaty palms, palpitations etc. 

    RED - total meltdown -  Going blank, crying, storming out of a meeting or hitting someone! 

    The colours are examples and you may feel that other colours would better depict these emotions. The emotions and consequences themselves are also very personal, but for everybody, the closer you are to blue, obviously the better. If you feel you are in yellow, you can make a conscious effort to take time out, breathe, come back to your body and assess what is happening, you are much more likely to be able to say no in a calm and assertive manner which will probably not cause the reaction you imagined, but, if it does, you´re more likely to be able to handle that reaction and respond to it in a serene and dignified way.  


  • I would like to add the importance of tenderness towards yourself. To not beat yourself up when you feel that you can’t say no. To not feel useless because you have to do something that you didn’t want to do. Just recognise what’s happened and what you are choosing this time around. You will get another opportunity and you will be that little more aware the next time.  Appreciate your efforts, dust yourself down and shake it off. Say whoops and carry on.


  • Appreciation and self-love. This step is similar to the previous one, but more related to when you do say no. It’s likely to be an anxious moment and anxiety feels horrible so all of your senses are saying turn away, escape to safety! but safety only promises temporary respite. 



All encompassing self-love - The antidote to anxiety

self-love versus anxiety

It's inspiring to see how many courageous women now stand up to bullies. The Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinsteins of this world have had their day thanks to that courage. Your situation may seem small in comparison or it may be of the same ilk, it doesn’t matter because it comes from the same energy source. Whether it’s not being able to say no to your daughter leaving her dirty washing for you to collect every day or saying no to the advances of somebody you have absolutely no interest in, it causes anxiety and anxiety feels the same in everyone’s body.  


How you react to that anxiety and how long it sticks around is what changes.

So, every time you do say no appreciate and celebrate that decision. Don’t worry about whether it was the right thing to say (feeling right or wrong is another blog!!) You did it, you were brave and you put your own needs first. That’s the beginning of honouring yourself more and it leads to self-love.  Self-love is an antidote to anxiety and the more you focus your attention there, the more it expands.  The wonderful thing about love is that it doesn’t care who it’s directed at, or who its focus is, it just expands and encompasses everything around you the more you experience it.  

If you feel like a victim and there is a perpetrator, it's so much harder to manage anxiety when you have to say no, but when you are self-loving you don’t feel like a victim, you become empowered and the perpetrator isn’t seen as the enemy, rather you find yourself being able to step back and see the bigger picture, separating the person from their behaviour.  I bet you can deal with behaviour better than you can deal with a person - it already feels less scary!

You're not alone

Feeling confident and heard

If you are having trouble saying no and the consequences are causing you a lot of stress, please don't suffer in silence. I'm easily contactable (go to contact me at the top of this page) There is also an online course called From Anxiety to Harmony, if anxiety is causing much disharmony in your life.

However, I hope this blog was useful to begin a conscious way to manage anxiety when you have to say no. If you struggle to say no, you can download a free e-guide that comes with audio exercises that help you to reconnect more to your body and become  aware of how to manage your anxiety using your own voice. It’s called Be Brave, Be Heard & Shine Bright - please click below and I'll send you your free copy.

Get Your Free eGuide & Audio

Sign up to get your free eGuide & somatic voice exercises, Be Brave, Be Heard & Shine Bright!

solidarity during crisis - Gorgeous Hearts Wellness coaching

Coronavirus Wellness Coaching Support

The Covid 19 virus is threatening to change our lifestyles dramatically, at least for the next few months, it's important to focus on what we can do to support ourselves and others rather than falling prey to the far more dangerous virus, anxiety.  Coronavirus wellness coaching support is aimed at all those who are feeling overwhelmed at this time.

Coronavirus - Wellness Coaching Support

Crazy how such a tiny little invader can bring us all to the brink of insanity! This blog, however, is not focusing on information regarding the virus nor the behaviours or ideology around it - there are enough of those.  As a wellness coach I felt like sharing ways that we can support ourselves and others during this time without totally glossing over what is here to expose a way of living that is not in helping us to feel harmony.

Coronavirus wellness coaching support that reduces anxiety 

My daughters are in their 20's so I get their perspective.  They don't fear the virus for themselves because it is unlikely to affect them physically.  What they are concerned about is the financial impact of having to be off work for a couple of weeks, even if they have, or live with someone, who just has a mild cough. Statutory sick pay doesn't cover their rent let alone their bills and food.  Financial worries are probably affecting the majority right now.  Added to this is the fear of passing the virus onto the mothers, fathers and grandparents of their friends who may be more vulnerable. Businesses are anxious about how they will stay afloat as their cash flows dwindle. It's not my case, but I can really empathise with those who are worried about being exposed to the virus due to their age or health issues that could complicate matters. Yes there are many reasons right now to be anxious - however...... 

Anxiety causes more illness than the virus itself and the media is certainly giving us our daily dose to stoke that fire.  What this exposes right now is that anxiety has become a constant in our lives. It seems like humanity always has a reason to fear something. Fear is causing more havoc, separation and self-interest and it is destroying reason. 

Can we just put the breaks on fear for a moment? All it takes is a choice.  Fear is energy - we can align or choose not to align. Simple - not so easy I understand - I'm talking to myself here as much as I am sharing. It can however, be easier when we add a very special ingredient - love.

So, what's my take?

  • First and foremost you know the answer to this within you, so trust that you've got this.  You have plenty of experience of worrying and being fearful - when did it ever change anything? I don't condone burying feelings or emotions either - all this is happening for a reason so observe rather than absorb. When you focus on worry, it becomes the air you breathe, your expression and your actions and consequences. Be curious about what is happening and take responsibility for your feelings and let's collectively put a stop to the spread of the virus of anxiety.
  • Use this time wisely to prepare your body and to take care of it.  You may be young and healthy and not at risk, but true wellness does not need a coffee in the morning to help it to function, it does not feel exhausted at the end of the day nor anxious and reactive to the smallest problem or sign of discomfort. True wellness is feeling vitality and joy. It is having  the energy to take care of yourself and others. A healthy diet and getting quality sleep are important steps to maintain harmony amidst the chaos.  
  •  Appreciate yourself and focus on your strengths.This means connecting deeply to the tenderness and care that is within you rather than focusing on what's going on outside.  Granted you need to keep abreast of what's going on in the world around you, but scrolling down news feeds can be addictive and depressing. Be honest about the percentage of time that you are focusing on sensationalist information and honour the time you need to be still.  Spend some time instead contacting other people online and having conversations that are supportive and uplifting. Listen to each other and share the love.  Love is a vaccine for the anxiety virus.
  • Get some support if you feel overwhelmed. It's not a sin to feel fear or anxiety - it is a very natural reaction, but learning to respond from your wisdom is going to help immensely. I am offering very affordable coaching right now because I truly want to support others. I offer free coaching to those who have financial problems so there is no excuse to feel alone. See at the bottom of this page for more information.

Coronavirus wellness coaching support for who?

Life can sometimes get very heavy, for us as individuals, or as a collective.  Human beings always need interaction with each other, support, to be able to share, to love and to care, but when dark times are upon us, it is a necessity that is as vital as the food we eat.  Just to have somebody who will listen to you without interruptions, judgement, or projections can be the most clarifying and uplifting experience that gives you your purpose back. So, to the question 'Who needs coaching?' I would answer, everybody! 

Are you feeling a bit like Harry the alpaca? Harry knows he needs a haircut but he's not sure if that's a good idea at the moment because what's out there is a bit too much to deal with right now.  Trouble is he keeps bumping into the same wall while the stable door is wide open.   Don't be a Harry! Face the storm and let the wind blow the fringe right out of your eyes.  We will all evolve together if we just choose to stop aligning to the fear and anxiety that is controlling us. 

Life coaching for clear vision

Book a free call now!


Don't be alone, overwhelmed and steeped in fear or anxiety. I'm here to help and I'm offering affordable or in some cases free coaching to support as many people as I can at this time. I am an experienced and qualified wellness coach and together we can invite vitality and joy back into your life.

Connect & Express Videos and Audios - Gorgeous Hearts

Singing Techniques for self-confidence

Are you a little shy with your voice? Is singing only for performers? Are you feeling disconnected from your body and a bit too much in your head? Read on and discover some practical ways of being more connected to your expression and to begin to use your voice with confidence and power.

Singing Techniques for Inner Connection and vitality

Singing techniques for inner connection is a practical post because you will find several videos and audios to support you to connect more deeply to your body instrument that will help you to express with confidence and power. I hope you enjoy these videos, but I will also point out that the exercises here are just a taster and the art of mastering your voice, increasing self-awareness and expressing from the whole of your body instrument with confidence and power, is a process that takes time.

I encourage you to keep a journal so that you can jot down how the exercises feel in your body. This is very important as the exercises are part of your self-care routine and are meditative in nature. If you keep checking in with your body and writing down you experience, it will lead to further awareness and connection so that you can use this for future reference when advancing. Singing in this way can manifest as feeling more vitality and joy and can be part of a self-care routine for holistic wellness. 

Singing Techniques - Videos lessons 

Self-love

These singing techniques are not to teach you to sing, to be a better performer or necessarily to acquire better vocal technique, they are specific to the Connect & Express program which supports you to connect to the energy impulsed from your soul and express from there.  Tuning into your body and choosing a quality of gentleness that your voice can express feels liberating and empowering as well as joyful. Feel how your whole body instrument vibrates to the one song of love that is the vibration of the whole universe. Surrender to this purpose as you practice the exercises and feel the deep healing that it brings.

This singing technique is called 'The Siren.' Feel how the sound can begin in your feet and the vibrations can be felt throughout the body....

'Call & Response' 

You will hear a phrase followed by a four beat bar and then a space for you to replicate the phrase. Bring your consciousness into your body and feel how your voice flows gently and evenly in your phrases. You don't need to concentrate on breath or any other singing technique, just focus on bringing your voice from your whole body and surrendering to the process. 

This is a live Call and Response exercise that is a little more difficult over a harmonic minor scale.

JOIN THE CONNECT & EXPRESS FACEBOOK GROUP FOR FREE WEEKLY VIDEOS

Gorgeous Hearts Connect & Express Facebook group invites you to join in with some great vocal connection exercises, meditations and connective rhythmic exercises. All have the specific purpose of supporting you to connect to the harmony and joy of your true, natural expression. The voice from your soul vibrates with love and allows love to flow in your expression - all you need to do is choose to connect!

Comfortable goals don't work

Comfortable Goals

Comfortable goals are boring!

Just like comfort eating, we can easily pick up the habit of comfort goaling!

Comfortable goals don't work

If you have ever woken up one late morning on January the 1st with a desire to set yourself a goal, you probably already know that after an initial spout of energy, there is a slow fizzling out period rather like the Alka Selzer sitting on your bedside table! Goals can be uncomfortable to carry through, especially if the purpose of that goal doesn't set you on fire!  A goal needs to be exciting, but it also needs to challenge you. Setting comfortable goals doesn't incite transformation...... 

Examples of comfortable goals

  • I'm going to lose weight, but I'll take my time
  • I will work on my time management tomorrow
  •  I am going to change my job this year as I'm not liking the extra responsibility and my work colleagues are driving me up the wall!
  • My goal is to meet more people - I'll start on-line

You get the drift - you want your cake and you want to eat it. Normal right? 

Of course! and you don't have to be hard on yourself and be uncomfortable to be successful. The reason all of those goals listed above are 'comfortable' is because they are avoiding commitment. Commitment needs motivation and motivation is only real if there is a clear purpose behind it that comes from an alignment to what makes us passionate and energetic.  If goals are just moving away from what isn't working, they can lack pzazz! It's important to zoom out and see the bigger picture...

The insidious 'comfort' in comfortable goals

Being comfortable often translates to not moving. Just conger up an image of comfort and you may find yourself in your slippers and watching a nice movie on the T.V or soaking in a hot bath, but when it comes to self-realization or evolving in any area of our lives, comfort just keeps you in the same patterns and does not lead to growth or expansion. If everything was comfortable, it would make life rather monotonous and dull, and that's because it is the discomfort that makes us aware and honest with regards to how we are expressing, living, working or parenting for example. Comfort keeps on saying "stick with what you know and you'll be safe."

Moving out of the comfort zone and creating the goal

Firstly let's look at moving out of your comfort zone. It's a hot day, do you jump into the swimming pool because you are too hot and the discomfort of the heat is enough to motivate the plunge into cool water, even though you know that the cold will be uncomfortable for a short period of time, or, are you just loving the idea of swimming in that blue water that looks so enticing? This is the intention that you can focus on, the reason for the goal in the first place.

Secondly observe honestly how this particular goal makes you feel.  Meh or hell yeah!

Thirdly make sure that the goal is exact - focused and clear.  I'm going to be more self-caring this year is a bit bland and general. It's better to say I'm going to stick to a) a healthier diet b) an exercise routine on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and c) I'm going to set a time of 10 pm to go to bed in the week.

Fourthly check in with your body and sense how it feels about what you are intending. Do you feel positive that this is achievable and something that can be mastered in the next 3-6 months? Do you feel anxiety and if so, where do you feel it and what is the intensity? You can then anticipate some strategies that will reduce any anxiety that will help you to be more successful.

Lastly zoom out and see the bigger picture. How does this fit in with your sense of purpose? What values are dear to you and how do they relate? How does this goal contribute to other people in your life and society as a whole - this can also give a sense of purpose that is not just individually motivated which helps you to stay on track.

Comfortable goals or exciting purpose?

Life is never really comfortable.  If you don't move, life moves you.  Everything is in motion and we can either be in harmony with the flow or move against its rhythm with all of the discomfort that this will eventually entail.  

A great way to think of a goal is to ask yourself 'What's next?' Instead of imagining goals as lineal journeys of self-development from  A to B i.e. go to the moon, plant your flag and say "I'm here," think of them as a way of continually evolving and accepting of the next challenge. Goals can constantly unfold if we are willing to observe what the next step may be and claim the opportunities that present themselves. 

Purpose can be elusive or really exciting especially when it transcends our individual needs and encompasses the wellbeing of others. Taking responsibility, committing to your life and expressing the best version of you has a positive impact on you and all those around you - we are all connected.

Instead of comfortable goals think of dynamic, evolutionary and life-changing goals that form part of your purpose to contribute to all. If you are healthier you are more joyful, if you are organised you help others navigate around you, if you are confident, you will inspire others for example.

Want to achieve your goals with confidence?

click below to get a free guide to setting goals that will help you to identify your goal, organise a strategy with this great tool and carry it through. 

What thwarts your expression

Your Healthy Voice & You

Your healthy voice and you looks at the health benefits of singing and how your voice can actually be healing in nature when you choose an expression that embodies the whole of you.... 

Your healthy voice and you - how can it improve your well-being holistically? 

What thwarts your expression

Singing is a very healthy activity Look at all of these health benefits:

  • Singing lowers your levels of stress and anxiety and increases your sense of joy. The release of endorphins when you sing, make you feel great! In fact singing is a natural anti-depressant.
  • Singing improves your posture and reduces muscle tension - if you practice correctly.
  • Singing improves your circulation when you breathe correctly.  It increases aerobic capacity and stamina as more oxygen reaches the brain.
  • Singing has been shown to strengthen the immune system and improve mental alertness.  The Alzheimer Society have a singing for the brain service for dementia and Alzheimer sufferers
But there's more.....

The voice expresses all of who you are and how you are living.  It can carry different aromas, some light and floral, others heavy and obnoxious.  Are we able to change that aroma? The way we live has a certain energetic quality that will definitely be part of our expression.  This is why your healthy voice and you are intrinsic to one another - your voice is you - what quality are you expressing?

The voice produces vibrations that affect us and everyone else - but what does that actually mean? Could we say that those vibrations have an effect on those around us? Would that mean that our own voice has the power to heal or to harm? This question is worth considering and maybe we would do well to be more discerning about how we use our voice.  

So, let's look at the healthy voice and you by exploring first off why we sing....

Why do we sing?

Does singing have a purpose? It seems that humanity has been singing and creating music for a very long time.  The invention of musical instruments is thought to be relatively recent (around 40,000 years ago) but music has been around longer. It is now known that 530,000 years ago, the full vocal range was available to humans due to the discovery of the hyoid, a small bone in our neck that changed shape when our voice box moved further down allowing us to speak and sing.  This means that earlier species of man, including neanderthals, had the potential to sing.


singing may have developed in monogamous species

The why of singing is something that is debatable.  It was theorized by Thomas Geissmann at the University of Zurich, Switzerland, that the development of singing had something to do with the evolution of monogamy as only monogamous species have developed the skill, however, it is also thought to have evolved with language.  Singing and music communicates different emotions and is thought to have evolved as a way to express those emotions. 

As a vocal coach, I'm always interested in the various reasons that people want to learn to sing.  From improving their confidence to controlling their voices and being able to sing professionally, there is an common thread that most people share - and that is that singing feels joyful!

But what happens to that joy?

We are judged on our abilities, our appearance, our talents etc. and the idea of being accomplished in something gives us a way of standing out and being recognised.  We live in a society that praises winners and makes fools out of so called losers.  Those born with a natural musical talent can spend their lives trying to be the best at what they do, sometimes at the expense of their own joy.  Singing competitions are on the TV every Saturday evening. It seems that there is a bottomless pit of talented people who go in search of their dream. Great for the lucky one - but many don't make it and face rejection - turned away because there is only one winner.  Of course this happens in other professions too, but the glamour surrounding the music industry seems to be taking us away from the true purpose of this beautiful expression. 

Let's consider another purpose to singing

Rather than looking at singing as an ability - as in performance, I would like to explore how it actually makes us feel. Rather than celebrating talent, let's celebrate expression and make it all about love. Rather than getting it right and controlling the voice, we could deepen our connection to our whole body instrument and use our voices to align our expression to the vibration of our soul.  You don't need talent for that!

When I was young I loved to sing to a little robbin that visited our garden. It made me feel happy and it was an expression of love towards that bird and how I lived. It seemed to just emerge from me like a bubble of joy Just like skipping in the sunshine on a spring afternoon after school or lying down and rolling in the grass - it was joyful for no particular reason. There was no control, no trying to get it right or wondering if I was a good singer. It felt freeing and it always made me feel better.

Your healthy voice and you - The joy of singing

I love to sing from my whole body and to feel the vibrations from the different parts of it.  The only way to be aware of those vibrations is to increase body awareness, to relax and surrender the muscles of your body so that you can hear the communication from areas of the body you have not been communicating with before. You do this by becoming more and more aware of the vibrations of sound within you.  You get a sense that the vibrations are communicating to the different energy centres of your body.  

Bringing a new energetic quality into your voice by re-connecting to your whole body, mind and soul is only  a choice away.  All it takes is to be consciously present and to feel the delicate nature of your breath and your voice as it vibrates within the body. That quality you feel, the essence of you is the quality that then gets expressed.  You will feel a new gentleness in your voice, but not a lack of power. If this becomes your default expression, it will change the way you use your voice, not only for singing, but when speaking to people. It will bring healing to you and to all who listen. Your expression will feel more confident and you won't be lost for words!

  • Feel your body in harmony with your voice and perceive the vibrations as you sing. The more awareness you have of the vibrations, the more joy you feel and the deeper the healing
  • Be honest about your needs.  If you want to be a successful performer or develop your ability to sing or speak, that's great. Be aware of how you can choose to express authentically without giving your power away to the competitive energy that can impose and dominate.
  • Make it all about energy first. How you use your voice and the quality that you express in, will make a huge difference to your well-being. Work on the relationship with yourself, re-connect to your body and express from there.  This will be freeing your natural voice from all the programming that is attached to expression, such as what you and other people expect, your own limiting beliefs and ideals and all that has thwarted your expression in the past. 

Enjoy the beauty of your true voice & authentic expression and reduce anxiety naturally

Connect & Express is a way of singing that is all about healing and connecting to your whole body instrument for a harmonious, soulful expression.  You will be encouraged to explore many aspects of your expression, increase awareness through specific meditative exercises that access your voice from deeper within your body. Build confidence, find the power and love of your own voice and express joyfully with musical exercises and bespoke affirming songs that support you to let go of anxiety and to access your innate wisdom. 

Facing the dragon of anxiety

Anxiety – The Dragon Within

Is Anxiety Making You a Frightened Little Hobbit?

Everywhere I look there are anxious people.  I see it reflected in the posts on social media, in my relationships and on the faces of the people I meet and coach - I feel it in my body too like a lurking shadow. Some may call it out, some may silently get on with life whilst slowly becoming a stranger of a simple smile, but however it manifests, anxiety is a cruel dragon that is running our world. 

You cannot discover treasure by hiding in your hobbit house away from anxiety

You cannot hide away from anxiety in your safe little hobbit house and  find the gold!

It is close to me in the shadows of my mind, I hear the low throbbing of it as it seeps into the cracks of my own self-doubt, and I feel its presence at every blind corner.  It’s heavy, powerful and sinister. I feel it has a personality, sometimes raging and sometimes cunning, sometimes slow like tar and sometimes hot as fire. This dragon laughs at how we live and at our own stubbornness to accept that we have got things very wrong.

Anxiety is a dragon in the shadows

Anxiety laughs at our attempts to escape from it. It waits patiently as we try to ignore it or take something to blot it out of our consciousness.  We may think that we have won for a little while, but we soon realise that it has been taking a short nap, like Smaug the dragon, one eye open, lazily watching and waiting. 

BUT.......

One thing that a dragon hates, is being faced.  You see It relies on avoidance and escape so it can play a game that it knows it can win.  It’s not ready for your power – And you have more of that than you are willing to acknowledge. But beware, because sometimes when you face this dragon called anxiety, it sees the weakness in your fear, lack of trust and self-doubt. It knows deep down that you are trying to escape it.  You must face it with all of your power.  You need to look at it without judgement, without desire to be somewhere else, without a need to be free, without the fear that you won’t succeed and without doubt that you are less than it.  You are much more than it is, and it knows this. 

Back to reality...

OK,  let’s get out of the fairy tale come 'Hobbit' scenario and get back to the so-called realities of life.  What does this all mean and how can it help you to be confident, to trust and to live your life courageously so you can succeed in whatever it is you want to succeed at?

The simple answer is this:

By not trying to be free of anxiety!

Anxiety will always be there waiting so don’t waste effort trying to fight it or escape it.  When you are anxious, accept it, feel it, be still with it.  Observe everything you feel in your body and every thought that led to your feeling of anxiety and just accept it.  By accepting it, you are in a position to observe it and detach from it – it has a harder time to define you that way as you get space between it and yourself.

Prepare yourself with armor and courage

Another way to be free of anxiety is preparation.  I mean if you know this demon dragon is in a particular cave, it’s not wise to go empty handed picking up the gold you find lying around – be sure to be prepared and take your sword of courage and shield of awareness.

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him" 

JRR Tolkien

Increasing self-awareness for the brave and Gorgeous Heart

Gorgeous Hearts confidence coaching supports you to lift the veil of illusion and be more self-aware. Body and voice connection and awareness also supports you to reconnect to your intuition, the language of your soul. This is where you will find your courage, your power, your wisdom and all the other magical extras that are yours by right as an aware and awakened human being.

For example.  We can explore and identify what it is that creates the anxiety.  This could be:

  • A place that always makes you feel anxious - crowded places, shopping centres or heights for example.
  • An unhealthy relationship - maybe a bullying manager, a family member who judges you or maybe the relationship you have with yourself
  • Something that you have to do - you feel it's too huge, difficult or complicated for example.
  • Something intrinsic to your body and mind - hormone imbalance, negative thought patterns, limiting beliefs, mental health problems or lack of self-esteem or self-confidence

Once you have identified where it comes from, you can then work on observing and measuring the stages that you go through, from feeling slightly niggled to full blown melt down. With practice you can use a very simple strategy to know immediately when you are out of your centre and to nip anxiety in the bud before the dragon really wakes up.

Transformational Coaching 

Supports you to explore and identify the route and the goal. It is your map for the journey.

Vocal Embodiment 

Supports you to reconnect to the power and confidence within you - it is your magic ring, but rather than making you invisible, it makes you invincible. 

The wisdom is within you

The thing is you actually have a Gandalf just waiting for your attention and your orders – the great thing is, he doesn’t go missing, never gets taken prisoner or dies – But know this, you need to be the one who calls on those powers, you need to realise that you are worthy and that help is there.

Being able to see the anxiety, know why it is there and how to face it helps you to detach from it's imposing power. Don the armor of your full power and roar back at that shrunken little shadow of a dragon as it coughs up pathetic little clouds of smoke.

“So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.”

JRR Tolkien

If you are suffering anxiety let's have a chat - you have nothing to lose

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Transformational life coaching be a super hero of your life

Massive Change During Menopause

  • Are you suffering with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause? 
  • Are you feeling small and insignificant - a victim of menopause?
  • Are you looking for your own super hero to come back?

 

Menopause presents some pretty challenging changes, both physically and mentally.  It can be so hard to think positively at this time, let alone actually thrive, but what if there was a way to embrace this time of your life? A way to turn the tables and give the finger to the usual imposing ideals and beliefs about women at this time of their lives?  Are you ready to be a super hero of your own life?  Read on to find out how to embrace MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause.......

Are You Ready For MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause? 

Before I begin to talk about transformation, I want to make it clear that you don't need to change - NO -  you are amazing, unique, lovable, worthy, creative, innovative and many more wonderful things - you know this - even if menopause has put a dampener on them.  What I will say, is that accessing those qualities requires getting through what stops their expression. The anxiety that results from the plethora of symptoms that affect body and mind, is like  a super villain that zaps your joy and vitality,  but it cannot win against the forces of your super hero powers when you are wearing your cape of awareness.  Now, this is the interesting bit, your cape is not something that you can take off or put on - it is part of you and when you forget about it you end up getting suckered, powed and whammed in all directions. So, to make it clear, this blog isn't about changing you, it's about knowing you, trusting you and realising the power that you have within you. Massive Change during menopause is a tool to support you to remember this and to help you to thrive rather than just survive.

“Anxiety is a mean super villain, but it cannot win against the forces of your super hero powers if you are wearing your cape of  awareness"

Separating the doing from the being

Self-awareness is needed so that you can observe what is going on in your body and feel where the anxiety comes from.  Anxiety can come from the body as it adjusts to the hormonal changes, it can come from lack of sleep or from difficult relationships, from feeling invisible or unattractive. It can become huge during menopause, as we have to contend with restless nights, hot flushes and brain fog and carry on our lives - busy as they may be. We still need to organise, have the energy to work and care for those we love. Then we still have to deal with the ideals of what a woman should  be, should  look like or should  do at a 'certain age' and the uncertainty and general lack of information that is available on this topic can leave you feeling alone - it may be difficult to pinpoint what is causing your anxiety, but there will be one area that affects you more than others - and that is the starting point.

You are amazing!

The truth is, we are all amazing women - just by being who we are.  Yes we have the issues, the discomfort, the symptoms and life sometimes feels impossible,  but if you really believe this statement, you will be on the front foot.  Here lies the foundation of appreciation for who you are - not what you do or what is happening to you, just the appreciation of who you are as a point of reference - a place to begin and to offset the anxiety.  When you begin focusing on that reference, MASSIVE CHANGE then supports you to start living that amazingness with the vitality and joy that comes with it.  So, let's look a bit closer at what the MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause tool  is:


  • M (from mind fog to mindfulness) is for meditation but not the retreating kind. This kind of meditation reconnects you to the wisdom and intuition that is the expression of your soul. It gives you purpose and inspires you to be self-caring and self-loving. Meditation can be part of your day - when you walk, work, eat, communicate with others. It means having one eye on the stillness and steadiness within you before you express.  There are many ways to meditate, but keeping it simple and focusing on the quality of your breath is a great way to reconnect to you and to maintain this in your daily expression.
  • A is for appreciation.  The only way to change something , is to appreciate the opportunity that it offers.  Discomfort is horrible, but it does offer us an opportunity to learn.  Appreciating what is around you is secondary to appreciating what is within you.  What you express is what you will manifest so the more you express appreciation, the more you will find to appreciate.
  • S is for Self - the self that you can love and trust. The focus on the quality of tenderness in how you express yourself supports self-confidence, self-awareness, self-worth, self-love and self-care.  The relationship you have with yourself must be true, loving and consistent. 
  • S - this S is for space. Deepening your presence and the quality of your relationship with self, allows you to create more space within and around you. It is always about going deeper within that space rather than looking for answers outside or being dominated by time.  
  • I is for Intimacy.  Intimacy begins with the relationship that you have with yourself and then expands to include your other relationships. If you were in a romantic relationship with you, what would it look like? Would you be avoiding things, or would there be a nurturing and harmonious connection - that is how your relationships will be. If you don't enjoy intimacy with yourself, how can you be intimate with another?  
  • V is for Vocal connection. This is very specific to my coaching package Connect & Express which includes vocal techniques to  aid self-awareness and self-discovery.  Singing from your whole body instrument has some fabulous health benefits and is a great self-care and healing tool that can specifically help with sleep - great during menopause. We communicate with our voice to the world around us so it is important to bring forth a voice that is authentic, confident, powerful and which carries your innate wisdom.  
  • E is for Energy.  Your energy can feel rather lacking during menopause but focusing on what energy you are expressing in, will help you to feel more energy and align to the energy that comes from within, from your soul.  If your energy is dissipating in many directions, bringing your focus back to one thing will stop you getting so exhausted. 
  • C is for Commitment & Courage.  Commitment to see things through, commitment to your own life and commitment to be self-caring during menopause. Courage to be honest, to accept truth and to discard what is not serving you during this transformation.   
  • H is for Harmony.  Menopause can feel anything but harmonious, but it is a natural cycle of your life. Looking for harmony and focusing on how that shows up in your life helps you to see life holistically as a symphony of beauty and purpose. This begins with you, but it can change your world. 
  • A is for Action.  Action here is not about doing, drive or push - it just means turning the theory into a living way.  It means to start being the amazing woman you are.    
  • N is for Nurture.  A nurturing attitude towards yourself is possibly the most important point on this list. Nurture yourself instead of being self-critical or self-doubting. Nurture your body and take care of it as you would a child. Just how you put your hand or face cream on (tenderly and mindfully) to understanding your actions even when they didn't have the outcome you expected. Nurture stops reactions. When you feel like reacting to a perimenopausal symptom for example, be self-nurturing instead!
  • G is for a  Gravitas - this was one of the roman virtues and I use it in the sense of discipline,  dignity and depth.  Discipline in your self-care, dignity as woman who is not defined by menopause and the depth of wisdom that can be expressed and what the world needs from you as you mature.
  • E is for Evolution.  Menopause is a gateway to evolve. You have a choice now to focus on yourself and journey through this storm. You bring your own personal love and joy to the world which is not defined by menopause - it is defined by you.  Make it a joyful one that everyone, including you, is inspired by.

If you resonate, reciprocate!

Head on over to 'The In Tune With Menopause' Facebook group where you can get free Massive Change Menopause coaching and share in a community of women who look at menopause as a catalyst for self-discovery and transformation.

Coaching for transformational changes

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Tunnel vision in menopause

What Do You Believe About Menopause?

What do you believe about menopause? Are you being led down a tunnel of belief that doesn't fit with what you have experienced and who you are? How can we be ourselves under the weight of such imposing beliefs around menopause?

Epigenetic research reveals that beliefs can influence your health and well-being.

Beliefs around menopause have changed over the years. Until the 18th century, menopause was seen as a natural phenomenon, but the Victorians often sent women to asylums due to 'hysteria.' They believed that the ovaries were the centre of the feminine essence. If they stopped working,  perhaps Pandoras Box would be opened and goodness knows what would be let out!

I remember my mom taking HRT because she was suffering menopausal symptoms. She said her doctor recommended it. No questions asked - no internet research, Facebook groups or even open discussion around menopause back then. The belief in the doctors recommendation was powerful and if the doctor told you to do something - well, you believed it and you just did it! 

My mom in a yellow T-shirt at a music festival

False information creates erroneous belief

The 2002 WHI report created a lot of fear around the possibility of breast cancer. During that time, the number of women taking HRT in the UK halved. The belief in the doctor's word wore thin - doctors themselves were confused, many advising their patients to stop taking it.  Later it came to light that the risks published in the first report were overestimated.  Nowadays I think that women take HRT because of an informed decision based on their health and the severity of symptoms, rather than just on recommendation, but how much does belief influence our decisions and how we experience menopause? 

Could it be our own beliefs that dictate our experience? for example, if you believe that you are less attractive as you age, you may stop caring about your appearance, or perhaps if you feel that no-one will be looking at you anymore in that way, you may start to feel invisible. 

What do you believe about menopause?

  • Do you believe that menopause is a taboo conversation?
  • Do you believe that your body shape automatically changes as you get older?
  • Do you believe that you will suffer greatly as your mother did, and her mother before her?
  • Do you believe that you are losing your power, your sexiness and your beauty? 
  • Do you believe that you will be less of a woman?

Then what are you expecting & how will that influence your experience?

It's true that perimenopausal symptoms are a wake-up call for most women.  You cannot ignore a hot flush or the emotional tension of mood swings. You can, however, choose how you live and express during this time, and that choice is based on belief.  Beliefs and ideals about the roles of a mature woman, what a woman in menopause will experience, what is expected of her, what she should say, wear, look like, etc. are all based on subjective experiences. They are not necessarily true. This is also the case when it comes to making decisions about what is right for you, what you should take to ease symptoms or who you should speak to etc. 

mood swings menopause

How to let go of the imposing beliefs around menopause...

What difference do you think it would make if you could welcome  menopause as a catalyst for self-discovery? A doorway to another level of self-awareness that feels joyful and purposeful? Does that seem a bit far fetched? Ask yourself why? Because you always have a choice in whether you believe something or not, and you can choose to change your beliefs around menopause by appreciating your experience and your expression during this time.  For example:

Rather than believe what others tell you about HRT, supplements, what works etc. try things out for yourself.  Speak with people and investigate. Be curious and don't doubt your own discernment.

When you get a hot flush and you feel fire rising from your belly which seems to consume your whole body, rather than reacting to this particular symptom of menopause, choose to believe that you are evolving, that this is a clearing of emotional tension and that your body is telling you to stop and listen - be present.

When you feel anxious, accept it as a reason to examine what it is in your world that you feel you cannot deal with. You could accept that you feel irritable and observe what it is in your life that is making you feel tired and stressed. 


You don't need to suffer silently or "Keep Calm and Carry On" but you can observe your body's communication more and allow it to express rather than reacting from a belief and then experiencing the consequences. 

What so you believe about menopause? and what do you believe about yourself? Choose to question those beliefs and instead, believe in your ability to thrive as a powerful woman who is wise, strong and loving.

Discovering new purpose

Honouring yourself and taking the time to nurture your body during menopause is an expression of true self-love.  I feel that the opposite, low self-esteem, is what most women suffer to some degree, and it is at the root of our belief about ourselves, and hence, our suffering.

Perhaps menopause has something to tell you, a purpose that you can believe in. It's a time for deepening the relationship with yourself, for realising the wisdom within you.

Believe in YOU!

So why not put yourself first for once? You as a woman first and foremost, before the imposed roles, expectations and what you think you need to do, to be successful or accepted. Whatever you believe with regards to menopause, whatever solutions you believe in and whatever way you experience it, be more in tune with you, believe in you and trust in you.

Join a group of women who believe in a more positive menopause

Click on the button and join 'The In Tune With Menopause' Facebook group and get free group support and transformational menopause coaching

Sleep like a baby during menopause

How To Sleep Well During Menopause

Are you finding it difficult to get to sleep? Do you wake up several times during the night and have to throw off the blankets pretty quickly to cool down? Is exhaustion and irritability leading to comfort eating and choosing the wrong kinds of food ? - If you are facing menopause and on top of all the uncomfortable symptoms, you are not getting the rest you need, it can really take a toll on your ability to focus and manage your symptoms and anxiety....

How to sleep during menopause? Look closely at how you are you living your day to day...

What happens if you’re losing sleep over menopause?  Let’s face it, a good night’s sleep is a gift to appreciate. 

It’s only when you lack sleep that you realise what a treasure a good night’s sleep is. Not sleeping well can lower your immune system, encourage comfort eating, heighten anxiety, leave you feeling exhausted and may lead to burnout. There's no magic off switch at night unless we take meds, drugs or alcohol which actually lead to further problems. So what can be done? Could it be that our sleep at night is based on how we live our day?

Vitality is a symptom of good health, but perimenopausal symptoms can sap your vitality even when you are otherwise healthy. It's important therefore to take measures to up your game with regards to your current definition of wellness.  How you respond to symptoms can also have a profound effect on your energy levels. If you keep pushing through without considering the needs of your whole body at this time, you may end up exhausted. However, when you go to bed at night your mind can annoyingly switch itself on and make it impossible to get to sleep.  It's like your mind is unable to stop the momentum of your daytime activities which is why how you treat yourself during the day has a lot to do with how you rest at night. We need to look at a whole 24 hour cycle (everything in life is about cycles!) and honour the body's needs.  When you are more attentive to your body it becomes more obvious when you need to rest, what food you need to eat and what you need to avoid. this self caring approach supports your health both physically and mentally so it becomes easier to manage symptoms and anxiety.

How important is sleep, and how can you sleep better during menopause?

Apart from the odd anxious night and specific reasons for not sleeping well, such as eating too much too late or being excited about something that's happening in my life, I have always slept pretty well, but then perimenopause happened!

I found the constant hot flashes and night sweats very disruptive. They woke me up several times a night and it was so difficult to get back to sleep! It seemed like there was a bubbling lava pool of anxiety in my stomach and a restlessness in my limbs that just wouldn’t disappear.

It felt endless…

In the morning, I would wake up feeling dreadful, sluggish, foggy and sad. I was sure that if I could just get a good night’s sleep, I’d be able to handle anything else about menopause. 

It affected my performance at work and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I felt like all my energy,  vitality and joy had drained out through my feet. I knew I had to do something to help me to sleep better.  I took sleeping pills once when my sleep was disrupted due to losing my dad and I didn't like the way they made me feel. Therefore, I began exploring some alternative, natural ways of getting some quality sleep.

How sleeplessness affects you

 The following highlights how the body reacts to sleeplessness

Sleeplessness can affect your weight

It negatively impacts your ability to manage your ideal weight.  Researchers have found a link between sleep deprivation, obesity and depression.  When you don’t get enough sleep, your body produces too much Ghrelin – the gremlin of the munchies! Ghrelin is a hormone that is released in the stomach and stimulates your appetite. It increases your appetite for sweet sugary and fatty foods. Another hormone called Leptin is compromised through lack of sleep.  Leptin lets you know that you have eaten enough, it puts the breaks on your cravings to pick at food.  Metabolism can also slow down when you haven’t had enough sleep.

It can weaken your immune system

Proteins called cytokines are produced while you sleep.  Cytokines protect the body by fighting off infections and inflammation.

It can negatively affect the skin

It effects the elasticity of skin. Skin recovers from any daily abuse while you sleep.  A clinical trial conducted at the University Hospital’s Case Medical Centre in Cleveland, Ohio, found that skin recovery in people who slept well, was 30% higher than those who did not.  The body produces collagen while you sleep, so long term sleep deprivation can also lead to the skin prematurely aging.

As if perimenopausal symptoms weren't enough to deal with! We could also add irritability, memory loss, procrastination, increased chance of accidents, anxiety and depression, to this list.  That's why it's so important to be more caring with yourself during menopause.  

Tips for a better night’s sleep

Worrying about not getting enough sleep is counterproductive so the first thing to remember is not try, but to surrender and accept. If you are laying awake for a couple of hours, try not to react with frustration and practice meditation or body connection (scanning your body with your mind's eye) this stops your mind from taking over which can prolong the sleeplessness.

Commitment to self-care is also very important. Creating little rituals to honour yourself can help you to consistently prepare yourself well for the beautiful release and clearing that sleep is.  Night and day is a cycle and if your day is full of disruptions,  it very often translates into disrupted sleep patterns.  We often cannot control what is happening to us, but we can choose to respond in a way that is self-caring and accepting rather than reacting in frustration that often surfaces when we are attached to a certain outcome.  This can be a simple as responding to your fogginess by sitting down and taking a moment to reconnect to yourself. Possibly a difficult thing to do at work, but just time out to go to the ladies to practice some breathing exercises could suffice.  Here are some of the things I did that helped me to sleep better:

  • I stopped eating carbs and sugar at night because I found it made me restless. I also stopped drinking alcohol, caffeine or any food that gave me indigestion - my own choice but it felt fabulous. If that is a stretch, any reduction will help. The important thing is to feel what is supporting you and what isn't. This kind of self-awareness is great as it helps you to observe honestly. I was always curious and asking myself about my habits. Am I eating more than I really need? Why is that? Is it because I'm bored or emotional? What else can I do about that? Am I craving sweets because I feel tired? Do I want that glass of wine because I feel insecure? If so why? What's going on? You get the drift. So a good way to observe honestly is to be your own scientific experiment. What foods disturb your sleep? Which foods are supposed to be bad for you but actually feel pretty good in your body?  Be inspired to eat foods that can help you to sleep, such as those high in alpha carotene (carrots and butternut squash) lauric acid, magnesium, manganese. See my blog ‘Is Sleeplessness Becoming a Nightmare?’ for more on this subject. 
  • Meditation and vibration voice/body work.  I’ll tell you about that in the next paragraph. An absolute Godsend!
  • I created a very self-nurturing bedtime routine and started going to bed early as soon as my body naturally felt tired. Rather than watching TV till late and overriding that communication, I recorded what I didn't want to miss and watched it earlier. I have ended up watching much less TV which also feels great as I have time for more creative pastimes. Working with my body and not against it feels harmonious and joyful. My bedtime routine begins in the morning by making sure I make my bed in a way that is inviting and nurturing. The bedroom is a serene space (no TV or computers) where I can meditate and relax in a safe and serene area. Little self-caring touches such as lighting a lavender incense stick or using an essential oil diffuser (lavender and neroli are very relaxing) have a calming effect and also give you the clear message that you are worth it and cherished. Being extra tender when putting face/hand/body cream on after a shower or a relaxing bath also makes a difference. It all supports you to surrender to sleep.
  • A massage every now and again with my partner with relaxing essential oils is an extra special treat!

The pool of inner vibration - a meditation to fully surrender

meditation during menopause

I don't like being out of control I admit it, but it is pointless to hold onto control because trying to control life is absurd! Control doesn’t help you to sleep nor does it help you to cope with menopause for that matter. What does work is surrender. Imagine your diaphragm as a pool of vibration as you gently breathe in and let out a low hum. How does it feel within you?  

How to sleep well during menopause? Meditation

Even meditation can be subject to control if you are thinking about how to sit, breathe and relax. The meditation that helps you to sleep is the reconnecting and surrendering kind. Meditation can help you to let go of control and to reconnect with your body. From that inner world of space, you will discover a stillness and serenity that is definitely lovely to surrender to. 

I’m a singing teacher and have ironically been teaching students to control their breath for years, but not anymore. Tension, wherever it is held, murders vibration. When you are concentrating on external muscles for control, you won't feel the subtlety of those vibrations from within and this is something that can help us so much when it comes to getting to sleep.  Yes - humming low and meditatively, feeling the vibrations within and releasing the tensions in your whole body is a great way to get to sleep.

Are you curious to know more?

If you're curious and you would like to investigate how re-connecting to your body and using your voice can support you to sleep better during menopause, please click the link below. It takes you to a page where I demonstrate some techniques as a taster. If you would like a more personalised deep dive session, click here to contact me. I will get straight back and arrange a free trial with you. Don't suffer anymore and feel that there is no solution, get in touch - there's nothing to lose.

Please click on the button below and get your free video demonstration!

These lessons show you how to connect to your breath, your body and your voice so that you can surrender to the stillness within you

Menopause and self-care

In-Tune With Menopause

  • Are you fighting against a tidal wave of emotions, symptoms, anxiety and exhaustion?
  • Is facing menopause like facing your worst nightmare?
  • Would you just love to get some support to reduce the anxiety and start feeling more in harmony with yourself?


Then Get In-Tune With Menopause!

This is where you usually get the great mission statement - but I'm going to hold off. I'm more interested in getting straight to the point. Menopause is not going anywhere and whether you take HRT or not, this is a one off opportunity to start getting honest about the way you are living and start to love yourself as you really deserve.  That is the first step to being In-Tune With Menopause!

What has self-love got to do with this?

Menopause brings up a lot of revelations about the way we can be abusive to ourselves.  Your body is intelligent and full of love, not just a vehicle of functionality. This is highlighted during the stages of perimenopause when we begin to feel the effects of the symptoms of lowering levels of estrogen. We feel more tired, its more difficult to get to sleep, we may suffer hot flushes and brain fog and a whole host of other uncomfortable assaults to the body we were once able to do anything with and to.  So self-love is a foundation that will keep us in harmony during this time and help us to manage symptoms and navigate successfully through the storm. 

Re-connecting to the body supports us to feel the natural harmony within. We can choose to listen to our rhythms, feel more connection to ourselves through this self-caring relationship and therefore feel more confident in our expression and realize that we aren't invisible, far from it, our wisdom is very much needed and appreciated when it comes from this loving way.  To get there, there is some discarding to do of all that is not part of harmony. We can learn to adopt some changes that positively affect our lifestyle which has a miraculous effect on symptoms and anxiety that beset us during menopause. So,  self-love is relevant. It propagates the kind of transformation that is deep, natural and permanent.  

Menopause solutions membership

Menopause Support

Holistic Wellness for Menopause

Holistic wellness is not just an absence of physical or mental illness. In fact it is worth defining what you feel wellness truly is at this point and then how that affects all areas of your life to include your relationships, your work, career, health, finances, creativity and business plans.  Could true holistic wellness be an expression of vitality, joy, harmony and love? Does that sound unrealistic as you throw the covers off yourself in frustration again as that pool of lava in the pit of your stomach erupts for the fourth time since you got into bed? If you are taking HRT and you aren't suffering many symptoms - does your level of wellness reflect the above?

Holistic menopause solutions

In-tune With Menopause.

In-Tune With Menopause is an online and in person self-care coaching programme supporting women facing menopause to sleep well so they can be focused and energetic in their work, their relationships, and their own bodies.  The programme follows a cycle type pattern which is just like the cycles in your life. It can be a tool that will always be there to support you and help you to discover permanent solutions to the anxiety that menopause can cause. You are not invisible - you are invincible!

This level of wellness isn't an unobtainable dream. You can start enjoying this level of wellness and feeling the effects of it within a month if you feel committed and you are consistent. These two words are extremely important.  Another very important word is appreciation, although as a word it will do nothing. Appreciating yourself, not just what you do and what is around you, but the amazing woman you are as well as every step that you take to be all of you and express in your power is something that needs to be lived. 

How does The In-Tune With Menopause Programme Support You?

The In-Tune With Menopause Programme supports you in three main ways:

  1. Encouraging you to be consistent and committed to self-care through wellness coaching. Focusing on reducing symptoms and anxiety wherever anxiety shows up in your life.
  2. Supporting you to increase self-awareness and connection with yourself through mentoring with specific body exercises and meditations. Focusing on intuition and wisdom that is innate within you.
  3. Empowering you to express authentically, confidently and powerfully  through specific vocal exercises 

The vocal exercises don't call for any singing ability. It is a way of reconnecting to your body through the voice. The ancient Egyptians used vowel sounds to heal and Pythagoras said that our cells had their own melody.  You can feel the power of your own voice from within. Its a very joyful feeling that has a lot of benefits such as:

  • Reduces anxiety
  • Increases confidence
  • Increases self-awareness
  • Helps circulation
  • Brings serenity to your movements
  • Helps you to sleep better
  • Reduces muscle tension and pain
  • Improves posture
  • Improves focus
  • Brings joy – releases endorphins, Oxycontin, serotonin

Right there we have an awesome cocktail of natural medicine that is totally free of side-effects for many of the symptoms suffered during perimenopause and menopause. However, the vocal exercises go further to concentrate on the quality of your expression and to empower you as a woman who is not defined by menopause.

Coaching is either in groups or one to one and you will also be supported by a framework that comes as an online course that you can follow at your leisure. It is full of exercises and templates that help you to self-coach, reinforce your motivation and commitment and keep track of your progress. 

Book a free coaching call now!


Would you like to sleep well, live well and completely nail how you respond to menopause? You can manage symptoms and reduce anxiety so much easier when self-care is your priority.  Let's get on a call where you can ask questions and share just what you are mostly struggling with right now