Category Archives for "Menopause wellness"

Transformational life coaching be a super hero of your life

Massive Change During Menopause

  • Are you suffering with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause? 
  • Are you feeling small and insignificant - a victim of menopause?
  • Are you looking for your own super hero to come back?


Menopause presents some pretty challenging changes, both physically and mentally.  It can be so hard to think positively at this time, let alone actually thrive, but what if there was a way to embrace this time of your life? A way to turn the tables and give the finger to the usual imposing ideals and beliefs about women at this time of their lives?  Are you ready to be a super hero of your own life?  Read on to find out how to embrace MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause.......

Are You Ready For MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause? 

Before I begin to talk about transformation, I want to make it clear that you don't need to change - NO -  you are amazing, unique, lovable, worthy, creative, innovative and many more wonderful things - you know this - even if menopause has put a dampener on them.  What I will say, is that accessing those qualities requires getting through what stops their expression. The anxiety that results from the plethora of symptoms that affect body and mind, is like  a super villain that zaps your joy and vitality,  but it cannot win against the forces of your super hero powers when you are wearing your cape of awareness.  Now, this is the interesting bit, your cape is not something that you can take off or put on - it is part of you and when you forget about it you end up getting suckered, powed and whammed in all directions. So, to make it clear, this blog isn't about changing you, it's about knowing you, trusting you and realising the power that you have within you. Massive Change during menopause is a tool to support you to remember this and to help you to thrive rather than just survive.

“Anxiety is a mean super villain, but it cannot win against the forces of your super hero powers if you are wearing your cape of  awareness"

Separating the doing from the being

Self-awareness is needed so that you can observe what is going on in your body and feel where the anxiety comes from.  Anxiety can come from the body as it adjusts to the hormonal changes, it can come from lack of sleep or from difficult relationships, from feeling invisible or unattractive. It can become huge during menopause, as we have to contend with restless nights, hot flushes and brain fog and carry on our lives - busy as they may be. We still need to organise, have the energy to work and care for those we love. Then we still have to deal with the ideals of what a woman should  be, should  look like or should  do at a 'certain age' and the uncertainty and general lack of information that is available on this topic can leave you feeling alone - it may be difficult to pinpoint what is causing your anxiety, but there will be one area that affects you more than others - and that is the starting point.

You are amazing!

The truth is, we are all amazing women - just by being who we are.  Yes we have the issues, the discomfort, the symptoms and life sometimes feels impossible,  but if you really believe this statement, you will be on the front foot.  Here lies the foundation of appreciation for who you are - not what you do or what is happening to you, just the appreciation of who you are as a point of reference - a place to begin and to offset the anxiety.  When you begin focusing on that reference, MASSIVE CHANGE then supports you to start living that amazingness with the vitality and joy that comes with it.  So, let's look a bit closer at what the MASSIVE CHANGE during menopause tool  is:

  • M (from mind fog to mindfulness) is for meditation but not the retreating kind. This kind of meditation reconnects you to the wisdom and intuition that is the expression of your soul. It gives you purpose and inspires you to be self-caring and self-loving. Meditation can be part of your day - when you walk, work, eat, communicate with others. It means having one eye on the stillness and steadiness within you before you express.  There are many ways to meditate, but keeping it simple and focusing on the quality of your breath is a great way to reconnect to you and to maintain this in your daily expression.
  • A is for appreciation.  The only way to change something , is to appreciate the opportunity that it offers.  Discomfort is horrible, but it does offer us an opportunity to learn.  Appreciating what is around you is secondary to appreciating what is within you.  What you express is what you will manifest so the more you express appreciation, the more you will find to appreciate.
  • S is for Self - the self that you can love and trust. The focus on the quality of tenderness in how you express yourself supports self-confidence, self-awareness, self-worth, self-love and self-care.  The relationship you have with yourself must be true, loving and consistent. 
  • S - this S is for space. Deepening your presence and the quality of your relationship with self, allows you to create more space within and around you. It is always about going deeper within that space rather than looking for answers outside or being dominated by time.  
  • I is for Intimacy.  Intimacy begins with the relationship that you have with yourself and then expands to include your other relationships. If you were in a romantic relationship with you, what would it look like? Would you be avoiding things, or would there be a nurturing and harmonious connection - that is how your relationships will be. If you don't enjoy intimacy with yourself, how can you be intimate with another?  
  • V is for Vocal connection. This is very specific to my coaching package Connect & Express which includes vocal techniques to  aid self-awareness and self-discovery.  Singing from your whole body instrument has some fabulous health benefits and is a great self-care and healing tool that can specifically help with sleep - great during menopause. We communicate with our voice to the world around us so it is important to bring forth a voice that is authentic, confident, powerful and which carries your innate wisdom.  
  • E is for Energy.  Your energy can feel rather lacking during menopause but focusing on what energy you are expressing in, will help you to feel more energy and align to the energy that comes from within, from your soul.  If your energy is dissipating in many directions, bringing your focus back to one thing will stop you getting so exhausted. 
  • C is for Commitment & Courage.  Commitment to see things through, commitment to your own life and commitment to be self-caring during menopause. Courage to be honest, to accept truth and to discard what is not serving you during this transformation.   
  • H is for Harmony.  Menopause can feel anything but harmonious, but it is a natural cycle of your life. Looking for harmony and focusing on how that shows up in your life helps you to see life holistically as a symphony of beauty and purpose. This begins with you, but it can change your world. 
  • A is for Action.  Action here is not about doing, drive or push - it just means turning the theory into a living way.  It means to start being the amazing woman you are.    
  • N is for Nurture.  A nurturing attitude towards yourself is possibly the most important point on this list. Nurture yourself instead of being self-critical or self-doubting. Nurture your body and take care of it as you would a child. Just how you put your hand or face cream on (tenderly and mindfully) to understanding your actions even when they didn't have the outcome you expected. Nurture stops reactions. When you feel like reacting to a perimenopausal symptom for example, be self-nurturing instead!
  • G is for a  Gravitas - this was one of the roman virtues and I use it in the sense of discipline,  dignity and depth.  Discipline in your self-care, dignity as woman who is not defined by menopause and the depth of wisdom that can be expressed and what the world needs from you as you mature.
  • E is for Evolution.  Menopause is a gateway to evolve. You have a choice now to focus on yourself and journey through this storm. You bring your own personal love and joy to the world which is not defined by menopause - it is defined by you.  Make it a joyful one that everyone, including you, is inspired by.

If you resonate, reciprocate!

Head on over to 'The In Tune With Menopause' Facebook group where you can get free Massive Change Menopause coaching and share in a community of women who look at menopause as a catalyst for self-discovery and transformation.

Coaching for transformational changes

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Tunnel vision in menopause

What Do You Believe About Menopause?

What do you believe about menopause? Are you being led down a tunnel of belief that doesn't fit with what you have experienced and who you are? How can we be ourselves under the weight of such imposing beliefs around menopause?

Epigenetic research reveals that beliefs can influence your health and well-being.

Beliefs around menopause have changed over the years. Until the 18th century, menopause was seen as a natural phenomenon, but the Victorians often sent women to asylums due to 'hysteria.' They believed that the ovaries were the centre of the feminine essence. If they stopped working,  perhaps Pandoras Box would be opened and goodness knows what would be let out!

I remember my mom taking HRT because she was suffering menopausal symptoms. She said her doctor recommended it. No questions asked - no internet research, Facebook groups or even open discussion around menopause back then. The belief in the doctors recommendation was powerful and if the doctor told you to do something - well, you believed it and you just did it! 

My mom in a yellow T-shirt at a music festival

False information creates erroneous belief

The 2002 WHI report created a lot of fear around the possibility of breast cancer. During that time, the number of women taking HRT in the UK halved. The belief in the doctor's word wore thin - doctors themselves were confused, many advising their patients to stop taking it.  Later it came to light that the risks published in the first report were overestimated.  Nowadays I think that women take HRT because of an informed decision based on their health and the severity of symptoms, rather than just on recommendation, but how much does belief influence our decisions and how we experience menopause? 

Could it be our own beliefs that dictate our experience? for example, if you believe that you are less attractive as you age, you may stop caring about your appearance, or perhaps if you feel that no-one will be looking at you anymore in that way, you may start to feel invisible. 

What do you believe about menopause?

  • Do you believe that menopause is a taboo conversation?
  • Do you believe that your body shape automatically changes as you get older?
  • Do you believe that you will suffer greatly as your mother did, and her mother before her?
  • Do you believe that you are losing your power, your sexiness and your beauty? 
  • Do you believe that you will be less of a woman?

Then what are you expecting & how will that influence your experience?

It's true that perimenopausal symptoms are a wake-up call for most women.  You cannot ignore a hot flush or the emotional tension of mood swings. You can, however, choose how you live and express during this time, and that choice is based on belief.  Beliefs and ideals about the roles of a mature woman, what a woman in menopause will experience, what is expected of her, what she should say, wear, look like, etc. are all based on subjective experiences. They are not necessarily true. This is also the case when it comes to making decisions about what is right for you, what you should take to ease symptoms or who you should speak to etc. 

mood swings menopause

How to let go of the imposing beliefs around menopause...

What difference do you think it would make if you could welcome  menopause as a catalyst for self-discovery? A doorway to another level of self-awareness that feels joyful and purposeful? Does that seem a bit far fetched? Ask yourself why? Because you always have a choice in whether you believe something or not, and you can choose to change your beliefs around menopause by appreciating your experience and your expression during this time.  For example:

Rather than believe what others tell you about HRT, supplements, what works etc. try things out for yourself.  Speak with people and investigate. Be curious and don't doubt your own discernment.

When you get a hot flush and you feel fire rising from your belly which seems to consume your whole body, rather than reacting to this particular symptom of menopause, choose to believe that you are evolving, that this is a clearing of emotional tension and that your body is telling you to stop and listen - be present.

When you feel anxious, accept it as a reason to examine what it is in your world that you feel you cannot deal with. You could accept that you feel irritable and observe what it is in your life that is making you feel tired and stressed. 

You don't need to suffer silently or "Keep Calm and Carry On" but you can observe your body's communication more and allow it to express rather than reacting from a belief and then experiencing the consequences. 

What so you believe about menopause? and what do you believe about yourself? Choose to question those beliefs and instead, believe in your ability to thrive as a powerful woman who is wise, strong and loving.

Discovering new purpose

Honouring yourself and taking the time to nurture your body during menopause is an expression of true self-love.  I feel that the opposite, low self-esteem, is what most women suffer to some degree, and it is at the root of our belief about ourselves, and hence, our suffering.

Perhaps menopause has something to tell you, a purpose that you can believe in. It's a time for deepening the relationship with yourself, for realising the wisdom within you.

Believe in YOU!

So why not put yourself first for once? You as a woman first and foremost, before the imposed roles, expectations and what you think you need to do, to be successful or accepted. Whatever you believe with regards to menopause, whatever solutions you believe in and whatever way you experience it, be more in tune with you, believe in you and trust in you.

Join a group of women who believe in a more positive menopause

Click on the button and join 'The In Tune With Menopause' Facebook group and get free group support and transformational menopause coaching

Sleep like a baby during menopause

How To Sleep Well During Menopause

Are you finding it difficult to get to sleep? Do you wake up several times during the night and have to throw off the blankets pretty quickly to cool down? Is exhaustion and irritability leading to comfort eating and choosing the wrong kinds of food ? - If you are facing menopause and on top of all the uncomfortable symptoms, you are not getting the rest you need, it can really take a toll on your ability to focus and manage your symptoms and anxiety....

How to sleep during menopause? Look closely at how you are you living your day to day...

What happens if you’re losing sleep over menopause?  Let’s face it, a good night’s sleep is a gift to appreciate. 

It’s only when you lack sleep that you realise what a treasure a good night’s sleep is. Not sleeping well can lower your immune system, encourage comfort eating, heighten anxiety, leave you feeling exhausted and may lead to burnout. There's no magic off switch at night unless we take meds, drugs or alcohol which actually lead to further problems. So what can be done? Could it be that our sleep at night is based on how we live our day?

Vitality is a symptom of good health, but perimenopausal symptoms can sap your vitality even when you are otherwise healthy. It's important therefore to take measures to up your game with regards to your current definition of wellness.  How you respond to symptoms can also have a profound effect on your energy levels. If you keep pushing through without considering the needs of your whole body at this time, you may end up exhausted. However, when you go to bed at night your mind can annoyingly switch itself on and make it impossible to get to sleep.  It's like your mind is unable to stop the momentum of your daytime activities which is why how you treat yourself during the day has a lot to do with how you rest at night. We need to look at a whole 24 hour cycle (everything in life is about cycles!) and honour the body's needs.  When you are more attentive to your body it becomes more obvious when you need to rest, what food you need to eat and what you need to avoid. this self caring approach supports your health both physically and mentally so it becomes easier to manage symptoms and anxiety.

How important is sleep, and how can you sleep better during menopause?

Apart from the odd anxious night and specific reasons for not sleeping well, such as eating too much too late or being excited about something that's happening in my life, I have always slept pretty well, but then perimenopause happened!

I found the constant hot flashes and night sweats very disruptive. They woke me up several times a night and it was so difficult to get back to sleep! It seemed like there was a bubbling lava pool of anxiety in my stomach and a restlessness in my limbs that just wouldn’t disappear.

It felt endless…

In the morning, I would wake up feeling dreadful, sluggish, foggy and sad. I was sure that if I could just get a good night’s sleep, I’d be able to handle anything else about menopause. 

It affected my performance at work and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I felt like all my energy,  vitality and joy had drained out through my feet. I knew I had to do something to help me to sleep better.  I took sleeping pills once when my sleep was disrupted due to losing my dad and I didn't like the way they made me feel. Therefore, I began exploring some alternative, natural ways of getting some quality sleep.

How sleeplessness affects you

 The following highlights how the body reacts to sleeplessness

Sleeplessness can affect your weight

It negatively impacts your ability to manage your ideal weight.  Researchers have found a link between sleep deprivation, obesity and depression.  When you don’t get enough sleep, your body produces too much Ghrelin – the gremlin of the munchies! Ghrelin is a hormone that is released in the stomach and stimulates your appetite. It increases your appetite for sweet sugary and fatty foods. Another hormone called Leptin is compromised through lack of sleep.  Leptin lets you know that you have eaten enough, it puts the breaks on your cravings to pick at food.  Metabolism can also slow down when you haven’t had enough sleep.

It can weaken your immune system

Proteins called cytokines are produced while you sleep.  Cytokines protect the body by fighting off infections and inflammation.

It can negatively affect the skin

It effects the elasticity of skin. Skin recovers from any daily abuse while you sleep.  A clinical trial conducted at the University Hospital’s Case Medical Centre in Cleveland, Ohio, found that skin recovery in people who slept well, was 30% higher than those who did not.  The body produces collagen while you sleep, so long term sleep deprivation can also lead to the skin prematurely aging.

As if perimenopausal symptoms weren't enough to deal with! We could also add irritability, memory loss, procrastination, increased chance of accidents, anxiety and depression, to this list.  That's why it's so important to be more caring with yourself during menopause.  

Tips for a better night’s sleep

Worrying about not getting enough sleep is counterproductive so the first thing to remember is not try, but to surrender and accept. If you are laying awake for a couple of hours, try not to react with frustration and practice meditation or body connection (scanning your body with your mind's eye) this stops your mind from taking over which can prolong the sleeplessness.

Commitment to self-care is also very important. Creating little rituals to honour yourself can help you to consistently prepare yourself well for the beautiful release and clearing that sleep is.  Night and day is a cycle and if your day is full of disruptions,  it very often translates into disrupted sleep patterns.  We often cannot control what is happening to us, but we can choose to respond in a way that is self-caring and accepting rather than reacting in frustration that often surfaces when we are attached to a certain outcome.  This can be a simple as responding to your fogginess by sitting down and taking a moment to reconnect to yourself. Possibly a difficult thing to do at work, but just time out to go to the ladies to practice some breathing exercises could suffice.  Here are some of the things I did that helped me to sleep better:

  • I stopped eating carbs and sugar at night because I found it made me restless. I also stopped drinking alcohol, caffeine or any food that gave me indigestion - my own choice but it felt fabulous. If that is a stretch, any reduction will help. The important thing is to feel what is supporting you and what isn't. This kind of self-awareness is great as it helps you to observe honestly. I was always curious and asking myself about my habits. Am I eating more than I really need? Why is that? Is it because I'm bored or emotional? What else can I do about that? Am I craving sweets because I feel tired? Do I want that glass of wine because I feel insecure? If so why? What's going on? You get the drift. So a good way to observe honestly is to be your own scientific experiment. What foods disturb your sleep? Which foods are supposed to be bad for you but actually feel pretty good in your body?  Be inspired to eat foods that can help you to sleep, such as those high in alpha carotene (carrots and butternut squash) lauric acid, magnesium, manganese. See my blog ‘Is Sleeplessness Becoming a Nightmare?’ for more on this subject. 
  • Meditation and vibration voice/body work.  I’ll tell you about that in the next paragraph. An absolute Godsend!
  • I created a very self-nurturing bedtime routine and started going to bed early as soon as my body naturally felt tired. Rather than watching TV till late and overriding that communication, I recorded what I didn't want to miss and watched it earlier. I have ended up watching much less TV which also feels great as I have time for more creative pastimes. Working with my body and not against it feels harmonious and joyful. My bedtime routine begins in the morning by making sure I make my bed in a way that is inviting and nurturing. The bedroom is a serene space (no TV or computers) where I can meditate and relax in a safe and serene area. Little self-caring touches such as lighting a lavender incense stick or using an essential oil diffuser (lavender and neroli are very relaxing) have a calming effect and also give you the clear message that you are worth it and cherished. Being extra tender when putting face/hand/body cream on after a shower or a relaxing bath also makes a difference. It all supports you to surrender to sleep.
  • A massage every now and again with my partner with relaxing essential oils is an extra special treat!

The pool of inner vibration - a meditation to fully surrender

meditation during menopause

I don't like being out of control I admit it, but it is pointless to hold onto control because trying to control life is absurd! Control doesn’t help you to sleep nor does it help you to cope with menopause for that matter. What does work is surrender. Imagine your diaphragm as a pool of vibration as you gently breathe in and let out a low hum. How does it feel within you?  

How to sleep well during menopause? Meditation

Even meditation can be subject to control if you are thinking about how to sit, breathe and relax. The meditation that helps you to sleep is the reconnecting and surrendering kind. Meditation can help you to let go of control and to reconnect with your body. From that inner world of space, you will discover a stillness and serenity that is definitely lovely to surrender to. 

I’m a singing teacher and have ironically been teaching students to control their breath for years, but not anymore. Tension, wherever it is held, murders vibration. When you are concentrating on external muscles for control, you won't feel the subtlety of those vibrations from within and this is something that can help us so much when it comes to getting to sleep.  Yes - humming low and meditatively, feeling the vibrations within and releasing the tensions in your whole body is a great way to get to sleep.

Are you curious to know more?

If you're curious and you would like to investigate how re-connecting to your body and using your voice can support you to sleep better during menopause, please click the link below. It takes you to a page where I demonstrate some techniques as a taster. If you would like a more personalised deep dive session, click here to contact me. I will get straight back and arrange a free trial with you. Don't suffer anymore and feel that there is no solution, get in touch - there's nothing to lose.

Please click on the button below and get your free video demonstration!

These lessons show you how to connect to your breath, your body and your voice so that you can surrender to the stillness within you

Menopause and self-care

In-Tune With Menopause

  • Are you fighting against a tidal wave of emotions, symptoms, anxiety and exhaustion?
  • Is facing menopause like facing your worst nightmare?
  • Would you just love to get some support to reduce the anxiety and start feeling more in harmony with yourself?

Then Get In-Tune With Menopause!

This is where you usually get the great mission statement - but I'm going to hold off. I'm more interested in getting straight to the point. Menopause is not going anywhere and whether you take HRT or not, this is a one off opportunity to start getting honest about the way you are living and start to love yourself as you really deserve.  That is the first step to being In-Tune With Menopause!

What has self-love got to do with this?

Menopause brings up a lot of revelations about the way we can be abusive to ourselves.  Your body is intelligent and full of love, not just a vehicle of functionality. This is highlighted during the stages of perimenopause when we begin to feel the effects of the symptoms of lowering levels of estrogen. We feel more tired, its more difficult to get to sleep, we may suffer hot flushes and brain fog and a whole host of other uncomfortable assaults to the body we were once able to do anything with and to.  So self-love is a foundation that will keep us in harmony during this time and help us to manage symptoms and navigate successfully through the storm. 

Re-connecting to the body supports us to feel the natural harmony within. We can choose to listen to our rhythms, feel more connection to ourselves through this self-caring relationship and therefore feel more confident in our expression and realize that we aren't invisible, far from it, our wisdom is very much needed and appreciated when it comes from this loving way.  To get there, there is some discarding to do of all that is not part of harmony. We can learn to adopt some changes that positively affect our lifestyle which has a miraculous effect on symptoms and anxiety that beset us during menopause. So,  self-love is relevant. It propagates the kind of transformation that is deep, natural and permanent.  

Menopause solutions membership

Menopause Support

Holistic Wellness for Menopause

Holistic wellness is not just an absence of physical or mental illness. In fact it is worth defining what you feel wellness truly is at this point and then how that affects all areas of your life to include your relationships, your work, career, health, finances, creativity and business plans.  Could true holistic wellness be an expression of vitality, joy, harmony and love? Does that sound unrealistic as you throw the covers off yourself in frustration again as that pool of lava in the pit of your stomach erupts for the fourth time since you got into bed? If you are taking HRT and you aren't suffering many symptoms - does your level of wellness reflect the above?

Holistic menopause solutions

In-tune With Menopause.

In-Tune With Menopause is an online and in person self-care coaching programme supporting women facing menopause to sleep well so they can be focused and energetic in their work, their relationships, and their own bodies.  The programme follows a cycle type pattern which is just like the cycles in your life. It can be a tool that will always be there to support you and help you to discover permanent solutions to the anxiety that menopause can cause. You are not invisible - you are invincible!

This level of wellness isn't an unobtainable dream. You can start enjoying this level of wellness and feeling the effects of it within a month if you feel committed and you are consistent. These two words are extremely important.  Another very important word is appreciation, although as a word it will do nothing. Appreciating yourself, not just what you do and what is around you, but the amazing woman you are as well as every step that you take to be all of you and express in your power is something that needs to be lived. 

How does The In-Tune With Menopause Programme Support You?

The In-Tune With Menopause Programme supports you in three main ways:

  1. Encouraging you to be consistent and committed to self-care through wellness coaching. Focusing on reducing symptoms and anxiety wherever anxiety shows up in your life.
  2. Supporting you to increase self-awareness and connection with yourself through mentoring with specific body exercises and meditations. Focusing on intuition and wisdom that is innate within you.
  3. Empowering you to express authentically, confidently and powerfully  through specific vocal exercises 

The vocal exercises don't call for any singing ability. It is a way of reconnecting to your body through the voice. The ancient Egyptians used vowel sounds to heal and Pythagoras said that our cells had their own melody.  You can feel the power of your own voice from within. Its a very joyful feeling that has a lot of benefits such as:

  • Reduces anxiety
  • Increases confidence
  • Increases self-awareness
  • Helps circulation
  • Brings serenity to your movements
  • Helps you to sleep better
  • Reduces muscle tension and pain
  • Improves posture
  • Improves focus
  • Brings joy – releases endorphins, Oxycontin, serotonin

Right there we have an awesome cocktail of natural medicine that is totally free of side-effects for many of the symptoms suffered during perimenopause and menopause. However, the vocal exercises go further to concentrate on the quality of your expression and to empower you as a woman who is not defined by menopause.

Coaching is either in groups or one to one and you will also be supported by a framework that comes as an online course that you can follow at your leisure. It is full of exercises and templates that help you to self-coach, reinforce your motivation and commitment and keep track of your progress. 

Book a free coaching call now!

Would you like to sleep well, live well and completely nail how you respond to menopause? You can manage symptoms and reduce anxiety so much easier when self-care is your priority.  Let's get on a call where you can ask questions and share just what you are mostly struggling with right now