Navigating Your Way to Emotional Harmony

Navigating your way to emotional harmony looks briefly at the theory of Transactional Analysis (T.A ) founded by Eric Berne and a popular therapy since the 1960's and uses it to expose the addictions we have to  emotional disharmony and their consequences for our bodies.  Even though you may not be familiar with this theory, you might well recognise how it manifests in your own life. Like me, you are in for an aha moment if you explore it further, however,  this blog is short and doesn't promise an in depth look at T.A, rather a look at how we may restore emotional harmony through observing and exposing the emotional games in our own relationships.  

You are whole, powerful and creative but who is at the helm?

Navigating your way to harmony Gorgeous Hearts

Transactional Analysis presents that we have three ego states; The Child, The Parent and The Adult. All of these ego states are present in every one of us, and they interchange depending on how we react to different emotional triggers.  

The interesting thing is, we can change our state depending on the person or the situation that we are reacting to.  It's a game we all play in many of our relationships and will depend on the ego state of the person speaking to us or the ego state that has been triggered in us due to a particular situation. I will briefly summarise these three states.....

  • THE CHILD within us can be energetic, playful, spontaneous, free, fun, curious, creative and cute.  Adversely he or she can be stubborn, reactive, prone to tantrums, irresponsible and self-abusive. If someone tells us what to do, we may respond from the child ego state as we responded to our parents when we were children. 
  • THE PARENT within us can be nurturing, caring and responsible, but the critical, judgemental, dogmatic and autocratic person is expressing from the parent ego state.  The parent ego state is often triggered when trying to advise a friend, talking to a member of staff at work or complaining at customer services!
  • THE ADULT is the rational, logical adult self as he or she responds to something in the present moment.  The adult responds to situations with conscious presence, focus and wisdom. When we ask questions rather than advise, when we listen with all of our attention to a friend, when we state fact without attachment to our own perceptions, we are expressing from the adult.

Emotional Harmony - The Whole of You!

T.A. presents that all of these ego states are active and that we will shift between them.  Sometimes we need the creative spontaneity of the child, and sometimes we need the nurture of the parent.  The presence of the adult can bring wisdom and clarity to situations. The question is, who is at the helm?

Emotional harmony doesn't mean hiding or turning off your emotions, rather accepting them and allowing them to express in a balanced and beautiful way, like musical notes played together in a way that sounds beautiful. The first step is to know yourself and increase self-awareness. If you observe the way you express, react or respond to all of the people in your life, you can discover some pretty manipulative games going on that may not be serving you and that you might find you are addicted to.  There's no judgment here, just an offering to look deeper, with honesty, into the myriad of games that keep us in disharmony and disempower us. Restoring emotional harmony means accepting and integrating the positive aspects of each ego state or personality into one whole, unified you.  If we try to disown any of our 'personalities' we run the risk of burying an energy deeper within us - it will still be there lurking like a shadow and waiting for the trigger to react or cause illness in our body. 

You the Captain

There is only one captain.  The crew may be many and you may find it useful to know their names, but it is not essential because they are all part of you.  The only way to bring them all together is by re-connecting to the one, whole and harmonious expression that you truly are. You will find that expression within you. It is called your soul and there is not likely to be a mutiny while the soul is at the helm!  Stay connected, present and purposeful.  Appreciate the depths of your being and base your self-esteem on that, rather than on the patterns of behaviour, the reactions or expectations of others and the dynamics of the games we play in those relationships. This will offer you truth and harmony.


Part of my program, Connect & Express, relies on honest observation, verbally expressing what is not serving you and re-imprinting with the energetic quality of harmony and love. This way you can be sure to get to the root cause of issues and let go of them allowing you the clarity to step into the flow of your purpose in whichever are of life you are ready to master.  I don't expect you to believe me when I say that it can change your life, but if you have even the slightest inquisitiveness to how this feels, book a call with me and I will be more than happy to show you the steps - I say that confidently because it has changed my life. Click below for a free consultation!


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